The Goats are Gone

Not all the goats mind you, but the Criminal Element has been banished from the farm. However, they really didn’t get the punishment they so richly deserve. No, it’s more of a reward, since they were taken to a new farm with lots of little girl goats. Nirvana indeed!

They didn’t leave without one last escapade, however. Their new warden was supposed to pick them up one day last week. I left them in their smaller night pen, figuring he’d show up any time. The hours went by, but no one came.

About mid-afternoon I noticed one little buck goat, The Jumper, was out with the sheep. He’s an expert at leaping over fences! I figured if he was out, I might as well let the rest out, which I did. Then I waited some more, until finally the day was gone and it was close to dark, so I needed to get evening chores done. The new warden was AWOL!

The Farmer came home from work about the time I was finishing up chores, and was surprised to see the trio of troublemakers still here. We went inside, where I noticed we had a message on the answering machine.

Wouldn’t you know it? It was the guy calling to say he was going to head up to our place and pick up the goats. Too bad he didn’t call before I fed them! The Jumper had already vaulted the fence again and was running around with the sheep, so we had to round him back up, scoot the other two out of their pen, and get all three contained in the back of the shed.

Once we had them safely jailed, we waited for their New Warden. And we waited, and waited, and waited some more. I went inside to check the answering machine in case the guy had got lost and called for directions. There was indeed another message on the answering machine, wanting The Farmer to call. It turns out the guy hadn’t even left yet!

By this time it was totally dark. There isn’t electricity in the little shed, but we do have a couple of outdoor extension cords running out there, so I plugged them in and hooked up a trouble light so we could see.

With it getting so late, I needed to go inside to check on supper and left The Farmer to deal with goats and buyer.

FINALLY, the guy showed up and got his truck parked as close to the shed as possible. I figured two big, strong men could get 3 pygmy sized goats from the pen in the shed to the pen in the back of the truck, so I stayed inside.

I figured wrong, as usual! I stepped out on the porch to check on their progress. The first two goats were loaded, and the new Warden was bringing the third out of the shed. He had hold of one – just one! -- of the goat’s horns as he was guiding it to his truck. Mistake! The goat gave his head a twist to get loose, and was gone in a flash.

Remember, it’s DARK.

The goat ran towards the back pasture. There are no lights there. I saw The Farmer take off after it, while The Warden just stood by his truck. (I guess Wardens are used to letting the guards do the work.) I figured I’d go out and give The Farmer some help. I picked up a bucket of feed on the way, and headed towards the back pasture.

When I went past this guy’s truck, he decided he’d like to chat awhile. He told me what nice goats we had, and showed signs of talking until the cows came home (it’s a sure bet the goat wasn’t coming back without some encouragement). I finally told him I needed to help The Farmer and headed on towards the back pasture.

Have you ever tried herding goats at night? Stumbling around in the dark listening for goat bleats is not my idea of entertainment, though no doubt it would have looked highly entertaining to anyone watching, if they could have actually SEEN us!

I started shaking the bucket of grain and calling for the goat. I heard movements, and finally located the escapee. The Farmer had maneuvered his way behind the goat and was trying to head him back to the shed. Between the two of us, we managed to get the goat back in the lot and shut the gate.

The Warden was still talking. Maybe he figured we could home in on his voice to find our way back to civilization.

Once we had the goat cornered in the shed again, I asked these two big, strong men if they could get the last goat in the truck without losing it again. (Okay, that bit of sarcasm popped out before I thought better of it!) They assured me they could, so I headed back to the house to check on our much put-off supper.

I paused on the back porch to see if they actually managed to get the goat in the truck. When I saw the door close behind the last little goat, I breathed a sigh of relief. Three little goats gone, and hopefully things will be a little more peaceful on the farm!

And I wish the new Warden good luck with his trio of troublemakers!