Put A Plug In It

Once upon a time, long, long ago, after weeks and weeks of rain, we finally had a sunny Saturday.  Considering that, the Farmer’s buddy, Harvey, decided it would be a great day for he and his wife to take their cabin cruiser and spend a day on the lake. Accordingly, they hooked up the trailer with the 24-foot boat on board and headed out.

Once there, they slipped the boat into the water as usual.  All pretty routine.  Harvey’s wife, Sue, stayed by the boat while he went and parked the truck.

But then, as he was headed back to the boat, looking forward to a serene day of floating on the lake, he heard his wife scream, “There’s water coming in the boat!”

So much for serenity!  It would seem they forgot one very important detail with the boat -- they forgot to put a plug in it.

Now, not being a boater myself, I wondered why boats have plugs. Why would you want a hole in something meant to float on the water? However, someone more knowledgeable about boats explained to me there's a plug near the back of the boat so when the boat is taken out of the water, any water left inside the boat can be drained out.

Okay, that makes sense.  Of course you’re obviously supposed to put the plug BACK before you put the boat into the water again. Since neither Harvey nor his wife remembered to do that, the water was pouring into the boat through the open plug hole.

Once Harvey’s realized what was going on, he quickly found the needed plug and jumped in the water. Moving so quick meant he didn’t take time for such niceties as removing his flip-flops and hat… which were soon floating further and further away from the boat.

He dived once and tried to get the plug in the boat. No such luck. The water was so murky he couldn’t see to find the plug hole. He finally ran out of air and had to surface. His wife was shouting, “There’s still water coming in the boat!”

Once again he went down, and once again he couldn’t find the hole for the plug. Once again he ran out of air and had to surface. And once again when he came back to surface, he heard his wife shouting, “There’s still water coming in the boat!”

At this point, Harvey’s thinking, “I KNOW that! I’ve still got the plug in my hand!”

The third time he tried, still without success. He stayed under until he was desperate for air, and in his hurry to reach the surface again, banged his head HARD on the boat.

Seeing stars didn’t help his vision any, and hearing his wife shout once again, “There’s still water coming in the boat!” didn’t help his temper any. While nursing his sore head, he was giving a lot of thought to how he’d like to thump the tarnation out of her for continuing to scream about the obvious.

When he reached up to rub his hurt noggin, he finally realized why the water looked so dark and murky and he was having trouble seeing…. he still had on his sunglasses! Tearing them off, once again he dove under to see if he could get the plug into the boat. This time he could actually see well enough to find the hole and place the plug into it snug and tight. As he surfaced for air this time, his wife triumphantly exclaimed, “The water stopped coming into the boat!”

He decided to avoid wife abuse and go paddle after his roaming flip-flops and hat to give himself time to cool his temper to match his cold body. It did occur to him to be grateful no one else was around to witness his humiliation. Considering he’d been boating since he was seven years old, it was totally embarrassing to forget to put the plug in the boat for the first time at age sixty.

Once he’d gathered up his wandering shoes and hat, he hauled his dripping wet self back into the boat and started the bilge pump. It took over an hour to get the errant water out of the boat.

Next time, I bet Harvey doesn’t forget to put a plug in it.

Tagged as: boat, humor, lake