Rules For Non-Pet Owners

I came across this while looking for jokes for the daily humor mailing I send out, and thought it might be appropriate here since so many of us have pets and farm critters (who are often also pets).

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.
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2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
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3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
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4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy and walks on all fours. Although they doesn't speak clearly, they communicate extremely well, especially cats. (And around here, an African Grey Parrot!)
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5. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called (this does not apply to cats), never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!!!

Some folks might think these rules a little extreme, but I think they're at least worth a smile.